We Are Both Married To Different People Yet Have Feelings For Each Other
I remember on the last day of our counselling session the pastor’s wife asked me, “What if you find another woman after marriage who looks attractive and you desire her?” “That will never happen,” I confidently responded. The pastor advised, “Pray for strength to overcome, but never say never.” I didn’t understand that statement. Why would anyone marry someone they love yet desires someone else? I thought it was a crazy thing until I read and heard stories about infidelity among married people.
Whenever I come across these stories I wonder, “Why stay and cheat on your partner when you can just leave the marriage?” Sometimes I read these stories online and when I see the comments people make, I feel sad on behalf of the people whose stories they are commenting on. Based on the advice my pastor gave me, the only comment I make is “Don’t judge someone until you have experienced their reality.” Frankly speaking, I never for once thought I will one day find myself in a similar situation because I promised myself that I will never cheat on my partner.
I’ve had serious temptations both at work and outside work but always stood my ground. When I encounter a woman who sees my wedding band as an open invitation to try and be my side chick, I beat my chest and say, “The devil is a liar. I am a one-woman kind of man.” Sometimes I offer a lift to a lady and the next thing you know, she is pushing an agenda. I’ve always valued the love I share with my wife above anything else so nothing these women did got to me. My wife and I have been married for over a decade and I have had eyes for only her until recently. This is how it all began.
I was away from the office one day when a friend called me to ask for a favour. He asked that I assist his friend who has been posted to our office to settle in. I didn’t want to go but this friend rarely asks me for favours so, in the end, I drove to the office. When I got there I saw a little girl running around. She is very beautiful so I was curious to see her mother. Then I saw a lady who looked to be in her early thirties seated with her legs crossed. One of my colleagues was attending to her. I asked her, “My friend ask me to come and assist someone to settle into work. Are you the one?” This lady looked at me and ignored me.
So I openly asked, “Whose child is the little girl running around?” This time too the lady ignored me. It was my colleague who signalled to me that she is the mother. As soon as I caught on I blurted out, “The girl is so much more beautiful than her mother.” I could see displeasure boldly written across her face when I said that but it didn’t concern me. Seeing as she wouldn’t tell me she is the one I am supposed to assist, I couldn’t assist her.
When she left with her baby at her back, I had a strange feeling I didn’t understand. I couldn’t stop myself from whispering to my colleague, “I like this lady.” He responded, “She is married. Didn’t you see her ring?” I don’t know why but I felt disappointed that she wasn’t single. I kept getting this feeling to get close to her. It stayed with me throughout the weekend. I didn’t have her number or know her name, so I couldn’t reach out to her.
She reported to work in September last year. She looked prettier than the last time I saw her. I quickly went into the logbook and saw her name, Mabel. Her office is directly opposite mine so I could see her from where I sit. What I felt for her after our first encounter resurfaced. And I was curious to know if she shared the same urgency to get close to me. I remember offering her a lift one time. When she got down I felt jealous that she was going home to someone else.
I tried so much to avoid getting too close to her but the nature of our work demanded we work very close. How was I going to kill my feelings then? I tried as much as I could not to let my guard down and fall for the voice pushing me to make a move on her. Because of this, I didn’t try to get her number. I believed talking on the phone would make things worse for me. However, I was home one day when she called me. I was surprised. She told me, “I heard you were not feeling well so I called to check up on you.” We didn’t talk much on that day but I took the chance to save her number.
A few days after I resumed duty, I heard from a colleague that she wasn’t doing well so I also called to check on her. After all, what are friends for? Work continued in a normal atmosphere when she came back. In December last year, I was on a refresher course in Kumasi. I got back from lectures one evening and saw a message from her checking on me. I asked myself why she would care this much to even ask if I’d eaten or not. I responded and the chat continued till late in the night.
The chat then continued the next morning when I went for lectures. This became routine throughout my stay in Kumasi until she gave me a cheeky response to a harmless question on my last day. This nailed it. I said to myself, “I need a reason to kill this dangerous feeling and now I have one.” I didn’t respond to her messages again until I reported to work in January after the Christmas break. I got to work that Monday morning with the mindset of avoiding her except when it was about work. I gave straight answers to all her questions and avoided getting involved in any conversation she was a part of.
She noticed my new behaviour and tried to get me to talk. Nothing she did made me change my attitude. I was determined to keep her at arm’s length for as long as possible. However, she came to work with her daughter the next morning. She put the little girl on my desk the moment she entered my office. I stopped working, picked the girl from the desk and placed her on the visitors’ chair beside me so she won’t fall. This got me talking to Mabel again.
I got to know from our conversations that day that everything I felt about her, she felt about me too. It was tempting to just allow our emotions lead us astray but I said to myself, “Never.” The feelings graduated us from being colleagues to close friends. I dropped her at home every day after work. She confided in me about her fears, “I am worried about what we might do if we don’t find a way to kill these feelings we have for each other.” So we agreed to change our departments. The agreement was for her to leave the office for a different department.
This isn’t something we can do without the approval of my boss. We tried everything possible to convince my boss to switch Mabel with another staff from one of the departments but he refused. So we continue to work together. I look at my family and tell myself, “Mabel is a forbidden fruit. This isn’t right.” But you know how forbidden things are more desirable. The more we try to stay apart, the more we need each other. We could chat about anything and everything after work till late in the night.
My wife has started suspecting me and I know people in our office will soon start suspecting us too. Mabel and I have agreed to stay away from each other for the sake of our families. We have agreed to kill this feeling. I won’t blame the devil for anything but our desires. I learned not to judge people. After over ten years of marriage, I finally understand the pastor’s wife’s question. I now know why the pastor said, “Never say never.” While I am staying away from Mabel, I am praying to God for strength.” I just want to share my story to tell people in similar situations that I understand how you feel. I don’t judge you. Please don’t judge me too.
Source: Silentbeads.com
In the enchanting city of Accra, Ghana, a love story unfolded, filled with second chances and newfound hope. Meet Nana, a resilient and introspective individual, who, after going through heartbreak, found a renewed appreciation for love. Determined not to repeat past mistakes, Nana embraced this second chance at love with open arms.
Nana had learned valuable lessons from his previous relationship, realizing that true love required effort, understanding, and a commitment to growth. He recognized that he needed to embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth before fully embracing a new love.
During this transformative period, Nana focused on cultivating self-love and self-acceptance. He engaged in activities that brought him joy and nurtured his well-being. Through self-reflection and introspection, he gained clarity about his values, desires, and the kind of partner he aspired to be.
With a renewed sense of purpose, Nana crossed paths with Akua, a vibrant and compassionate soul who shared his vision of a meaningful and authentic relationship. Akua had also experienced her fair share of heartbreak but approached love with an open heart and a willingness to grow alongside Nana.
As their connection deepened, Nana embraced the opportunity to create a healthy and fulfilling relationship with Akua. He recognized that love required open communication, trust, and vulnerability. Together, they embarked on a journey of mutual understanding, committed to building a solid foundation of love and respect.
Nana took the time to truly listen to Akua, acknowledging her needs, dreams, and aspirations. He recognized the importance of emotional support and made it a priority to be her rock, standing by her side through life’s ups and downs.
He made a conscious effort to demonstrate his love through actions, both big and small. From surprise gestures to heartfelt conversations, Nana ensured that Akua felt cherished and valued every step of the way. He learned to appreciate the beauty of compromise, seeking solutions that honoured both their individuality and their shared goals.
In their journey of love, Nana and Akua never shied away from the lessons of the past. They acknowledged their imperfections and celebrated their growth, understanding that mistakes were opportunities for learning and deeper connection. They embraced open and honest communication, resolving conflicts with empathy and understanding.
As their love story unfolded, Nana found solace in the fact that he had learned from his past and was actively applying those lessons to create a beautiful and lasting relationship. He cherished the second chance he had been given and vowed to nurture their love with tenderness, dedication, and authenticity.
And so, dear reader, the story of Nana and Akua teaches us that second chances are gifts to be treasured. It reminds us that the key to not messing up a newfound love lies in personal growth, self-reflection, and a commitment to learning from past experiences. In the enchanting city of Accra, Nana and Akua celebrated their love, knowing that their second chance was a precious opportunity to create a love story that would stand the test of time.
In the picturesque town of Tema, Ghana, a love story unfolded with unexpected twists and turns. Meet Kwesi and Esi, a couple whose lives were about to be forever altered. Their relationship had been built on a foundation of trust, but one fateful day, everything changed when Esi came home with another man’s pregnancy.
Kwesi, a devoted and caring husband, was taken aback by the news. Confusion and hurt washed over him as he tried to make sense of the situation. Esi, on the other hand, carried a mix of guilt and fear, aware of the pain she had caused her beloved husband.
In the midst of their tumultuous emotions, Kwesi and Esi knew that they needed to confront the truth head-on. With heavy hearts, they sat down and engaged in an honest and emotional conversation. Esi explained the circumstances that led to the pregnancy, confessing her mistake and expressing remorse for her actions.
Though devastated, Kwesi recognized that their love was built on a solid foundation that could withstand even the most difficult challenges. He understood that forgiveness and understanding were necessary for their relationship to heal and move forward. Despite the pain, he chose to stand by Esi’s side and find a way to navigate the complicated path ahead.
Together, they sought guidance from a counselor who specialized in helping couples overcome infidelity and rebuild trust. They embarked on a journey of introspection, exploring the underlying issues that might have contributed to Esi’s actions. They learned to communicate more openly, addressing their fears, desires, and expectations within the relationship.
Throughout the process, Kwesi and Esi discovered the power of empathy and compassion. Kwesi had the strength to extend forgiveness, recognizing that people make mistakes, and that love has the capacity to heal even the deepest wounds. Esi, in turn, felt a renewed commitment to their relationship, vowing to rebuild the trust she had broken.
As Esi’s pregnancy progressed, Kwesi wrestled with conflicting emotions. While the child was not his biologically, he understood that a life was being created, and he chose to embrace the child as his own. With time, he found solace in the idea of becoming a loving and supportive father figure.
Throughout the pregnancy, Kwesi and Esi leaned on each other for support. They attended counseling sessions together, seeking guidance on how to navigate the challenges that lay ahead as they prepared for the arrival of the child. They engaged in open and honest conversations about co-parenting, setting boundaries, and establishing a harmonious environment for their growing family.
In time, the wounds began to heal, and a newfound sense of trust and understanding blossomed between Kwesi and Esi. Their love story took an unexpected turn, but their commitment to each other and their willingness to confront the difficult truth allowed them to find a way forward.
And so, dear reader, the story of Kwesi and Esi teaches us that love is not immune to challenges or mistakes. It reminds us that forgiveness, understanding, and open communication are vital ingredients in healing and rebuilding a fractured relationship. In the picturesque town of Tema, Kwesi and Esi defied the odds, embracing the complexities of their journey and finding strength in their love to overcome the unexpected and create a future filled with hope and redemption.
In a world where love’s journey intertwines with the opinions of others, there lived a couple named Emma and James. Their love was a beautiful symphony of understanding, respect, and shared dreams. They believed that their connection was unbreakable, until an unexpected hurdle threatened to shatter their harmony.
Emma had always adored James for his kindness, intelligence, and unwavering support. Their love flourished, and they embarked on a journey of building a life together. They reveled in the joys of their relationship, cherishing the moments that weaved them closer.
However, a storm brewed on the horizon when James’ mother, Martha, voiced her disapproval of Emma. Martha, influenced by traditional notions of what constitutes a “wife material,” believed that Emma did not possess the qualities deemed necessary for a successful marriage.
Emma, heartbroken and confused, found herself questioning her worth. She had always believed that love transcends societal expectations, that it is nurtured by genuine connection and shared values. Yet, the weight of Martha’s disapproval cast a shadow over their once-bright path.
Determined to confront the issue head-on, Emma and James engaged in an honest conversation. Emma expressed her pain and confusion, laying bare her vulnerability. James, torn between his love for Emma and his loyalty to his mother, found himself at a crossroads.
In the days that followed, Emma and James embarked on a journey of self-reflection and introspection. They sought to understand their own values, dreams, and aspirations. They confronted the societal pressures that had infiltrated their love and questioned whether conforming to others’ expectations was truly the path they wanted to follow.
As Emma and James delved deeper into their souls, they discovered a newfound strength within themselves and their bond. They recognized that love is a force that can challenge conventions and defy expectations. They understood that a strong and lasting marriage is built on the foundation of love, respect, and mutual support, rather than adherence to traditional ideals.
With newfound clarity, Emma and James chose to embrace their love and confront the judgments of others. They set out on a journey to demonstrate the strength of their relationship, proving that their bond was unbreakable, regardless of others’ opinions.
As time passed, Martha witnessed the unwavering love and unwavering commitment between Emma and James. She saw how they supported each other’s dreams, nurtured their emotional well-being, and celebrated each other’s successes. Slowly but surely, Martha’s heart softened, and she began to appreciate the remarkable woman that Emma truly was.
In time, Martha’s reservations melted away, replaced by acceptance and respect for Emma. She realized that love is not confined to societal constructs but thrives in the presence of genuine connection and shared values.
And so, dear reader, the story of Emma and James reminds us that the path to true love is not always smooth, as it may be interrupted by the voices of others. But when two souls are steadfast in their love and commitment, they can overcome societal expectations and pave their own way, proving that the true measure of a life partner lies not in external judgments, but in the depth of their love and the unwavering support they provide.