Intimacy in marriage is a vital cog in the smooth running of a relationship. When sex and intimacy leave a marriage, your mind can’t help but go to the darkest place and worry that your partner no longer finds you attractive or is having an affair.
This begs the question, can a sexless marriage survive?
While sex is not the most defining factor in relationship happiness, sex and intimacy missing in your marriage can lead to serious relationship issues like anger, infidelity, communication breakdown, lack of self-esteem, and isolation – all of which can ultimately lead to irreparable damage to the relationship, ending in divorce.
Read this article to find out why do couples stop having sex and understand the sexual dynamics of relationships better:
Why do couples stop having sex? Top 12 reasons
The following are some common reasons why intimacy goes missing from a marriage.
Take an honest look at your relationship and see if any of these ring true. They just may help you to understand key reasons for intimacy missing in your marriage and get back on track to bring intimacy back into your marriage.
1. Immense stress
Women, in particular, find it hard to believe that stress could impact a man’s sexual desire. If you are looking for a way to fix the intimacy missing in your marriage, you must slay the biggest culprit in a sexless marriage – stress.
This is because we’ve spent our lives being told that men are always in the mood for sex, and this is simply not true. Stress at work or home can leave men and women exhausted, making sleep or some other way to relax more appealing than sex.
Studies have found a link between stress and decreased sex drive. Talk to your partner about what’s causing them stress, and do what you can to help take some of the burdens off their shoulders.
Resentment can put a strain on intimacy
2. Low self-esteem
Self-esteem and body image issues don’t only affect women. No one is exempt from feeling down about themselves.
Low self-esteem can take a toll on a person’s relationships, particularly when it comes to physical intimacy, because it leads to inhibitions and, ultimately, to a sexless relationship.
If intimacy is missing in your marriage, cultivate the habit of complimenting and appreciating your partner.
Compliment your spouse and let them know that you find them attractive. You can help make them more comfortable by leaving the lights dim and staying under the covers.
Is your wife not interested in sex? Is the lack of intimacy in marriage from your husband eating away at your peace of mind? Be patient and do your part to resolve intimacy issues and help them feel loved and desired.
Have you rejected your partner’s advances in the past? Perhaps you have been less than enthused when they tried to show you affection in or out of the bedroom.
These things can put your partner off of intimacy.
No one wants to feel as though their partner sees sex with them as a chore, and this is what can happen if you constantly put off sex or never initiate it.
Lack of sex in a relationship impairs a couple’s connection and leads to a slew of marital problems, including depression.
Living in a sexless marriage can make the partners feel unwanted, unattractive, and completely demotivated. Marriage becomes drudgery, and as a result, either one of the partners starts experiencing frustration and loses the motivation to devote energy to other important areas of life too.
If you are looking for tips on how to survive a sexless marriage or to overcome a lack of intimacy in marriage, it would be most helpful to consult a certified sex therapist who deals with intimacy problems.
Low self-esteem can take a toll on a person’s relationships
Your partner may be feeling resentful.
Unresolved issues in your relationship can make them pull away and withdraw affectionately and emotionally. If there aren’t any glaring issues that you can think of, then consider whether or not your partner feels unappreciated or let down by the way you treat them.
The only way to get to the bottom of this is to talk openly about the relationship and try to resolve any issues that may strain intimacy.
5. Lack of non-physical intimacy
Intimacy missing in a marriage isn’t just about a lack of sex.
Your sex life can suffer if there’s a lack of emotional intimacy too. Feeling disconnected from your partner can make it hard to connect during sex or enjoy it. This isn’t only limited to women either; men crave emotional intimacy from their spouses too.
Spending quality time together can help build emotional intimacy and ultimately bring back physical intimacy. It is important for couples to understand why sex is important and how couples can use intimacy and sex as glue to maintain their love bond.
6. Become platonic partners over time
One of the reasons to explain why couples stop having sex is by taking a look at their day-to-day dynamics, as they may have turned platonic over time.
A married couple can get caught up in the day-to-day struggle of life, where they end up overlooking the sexual aspect of their relationship. They become versions of roommates or best friends that are leading their life together.
Have you rejected your partner’s advances in the past?
No intimacy in relationships can be the result of physical or mental exhaustion that the couple might be facing. It can make one or both partners lack the motivation to have sex.
Wondering when couples stop having sex? Possible when they stop trying new things in the bedroom.
Sex can become boring if you don’t constantly try things that can make it more fun, exciting and engaging. In the absence of new ways to enjoy sex with your partner, marital sex can become boring for some.
9. Lack of hygiene
When intimacy stops in a relationship, you can try to assess whether there has been a difference in hygiene maintenance by either you or your partner.
When two people are together for a long time, they may start taking things for granted, and that may include maintaining good hygiene. And therefore, bad hygiene can become the reason for their partner to lose interest in them sexually.
10. Form of payback or punishment
You may have to start worrying about the effects of lack of intimacy in a relationship if one or both partners end up withholding sex as a form of punishment for bad behavior by their partner. Some can use lack of sex to punish their partner over time, over disagreements, fights, or opposing opinions.
11. Health issues
One of the important reasons not to have sex can be based on health issues that impede one’s sexual abilities and desires. Hormonal imbalance and erectile dysfunction are some such reasons that can affect one’s ability to have sex.
Not having sex in relationships can also be attributed to age-related factors. One’s hormones and physicality may face certain limits as one gets older, and this can impact their sexual relations with their partner.
Some commonly asked questions
Here are some answers to some important questions related to couples not having sex that can help you understand things better:
Is it normal for couples to stop having sex?
It is normal for couples to go through various phases in their sex lives, some of which may be marked by a lack of or reduced sexual activity between them. However, things can get problematic if the lack of sex lasts for a long period of time without any hope for a better future.
Couples can consider meeting an expert for relationship counseling to help them sort out any sexual problems between them.
At what age do most couples stop having sex?
There is no set age by which couples stop having sex; however, studies conducted on the sexual frequency of people have concluded that usually that couples experience a decline with time.
What happens when a couple stops having sex?
If there is intimacy missing in your marriage, there will be cracks in your relationship, leading to potentially a permanent loss of emotional and verbal connection with your spouse.
Here are the other problems that can explain what happens when couples stop sleeping together:
- Partners start withdrawing from each other
- The rejected partner feels unloved and insecure
- Chances of cheating on a spouse increase manifold
- If intimacy issues persist, divorce becomes imminent
To fix a sexless marriage or overcome intimacy missing in your marriage, it is important to understand the causes of intimacy missing in the marriage.
Things are not always what they seem.
Lack of sexual intimacy in marriage can stem from many things. Avoid jumping to conclusions and have a frank discussion with your partner without being accusatory. Don’t let a breakdown in intimacy create a lack of emotional connection, marital conflicts, relationship dissatisfaction, and bitterness in your marriage.
An unhappy marriage is not the best place to hang out with your partner. Learn how to fix and reignite the spark in your relationship, to strengthen the love bond with your significant other before little or no intimacy in marriage leads to marriage breakdown.
Now That I Have A Second Chance At Love, I Am Not Messing It Up
In the enchanting city of Accra, Ghana, a love story unfolded, filled with second chances and newfound hope. Meet Nana, a resilient and introspective individual, who, after going through heartbreak, found a renewed appreciation for love. Determined not to repeat past mistakes, Nana embraced this second chance at love with open arms.
Nana had learned valuable lessons from his previous relationship, realizing that true love required effort, understanding, and a commitment to growth. He recognized that he needed to embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth before fully embracing a new love.
During this transformative period, Nana focused on cultivating self-love and self-acceptance. He engaged in activities that brought him joy and nurtured his well-being. Through self-reflection and introspection, he gained clarity about his values, desires, and the kind of partner he aspired to be.
With a renewed sense of purpose, Nana crossed paths with Akua, a vibrant and compassionate soul who shared his vision of a meaningful and authentic relationship. Akua had also experienced her fair share of heartbreak but approached love with an open heart and a willingness to grow alongside Nana.
As their connection deepened, Nana embraced the opportunity to create a healthy and fulfilling relationship with Akua. He recognized that love required open communication, trust, and vulnerability. Together, they embarked on a journey of mutual understanding, committed to building a solid foundation of love and respect.
Nana took the time to truly listen to Akua, acknowledging her needs, dreams, and aspirations. He recognized the importance of emotional support and made it a priority to be her rock, standing by her side through life’s ups and downs.
He made a conscious effort to demonstrate his love through actions, both big and small. From surprise gestures to heartfelt conversations, Nana ensured that Akua felt cherished and valued every step of the way. He learned to appreciate the beauty of compromise, seeking solutions that honoured both their individuality and their shared goals.
In their journey of love, Nana and Akua never shied away from the lessons of the past. They acknowledged their imperfections and celebrated their growth, understanding that mistakes were opportunities for learning and deeper connection. They embraced open and honest communication, resolving conflicts with empathy and understanding.
As their love story unfolded, Nana found solace in the fact that he had learned from his past and was actively applying those lessons to create a beautiful and lasting relationship. He cherished the second chance he had been given and vowed to nurture their love with tenderness, dedication, and authenticity.
And so, dear reader, the story of Nana and Akua teaches us that second chances are gifts to be treasured. It reminds us that the key to not messing up a newfound love lies in personal growth, self-reflection, and a commitment to learning from past experiences. In the enchanting city of Accra, Nana and Akua celebrated their love, knowing that their second chance was a precious opportunity to create a love story that would stand the test of time.
My Wife Came Home With Another Man’s Pregnancy
In the picturesque town of Tema, Ghana, a love story unfolded with unexpected twists and turns. Meet Kwesi and Esi, a couple whose lives were about to be forever altered. Their relationship had been built on a foundation of trust, but one fateful day, everything changed when Esi came home with another man’s pregnancy.
Kwesi, a devoted and caring husband, was taken aback by the news. Confusion and hurt washed over him as he tried to make sense of the situation. Esi, on the other hand, carried a mix of guilt and fear, aware of the pain she had caused her beloved husband.
In the midst of their tumultuous emotions, Kwesi and Esi knew that they needed to confront the truth head-on. With heavy hearts, they sat down and engaged in an honest and emotional conversation. Esi explained the circumstances that led to the pregnancy, confessing her mistake and expressing remorse for her actions.
Though devastated, Kwesi recognized that their love was built on a solid foundation that could withstand even the most difficult challenges. He understood that forgiveness and understanding were necessary for their relationship to heal and move forward. Despite the pain, he chose to stand by Esi’s side and find a way to navigate the complicated path ahead.
Together, they sought guidance from a counselor who specialized in helping couples overcome infidelity and rebuild trust. They embarked on a journey of introspection, exploring the underlying issues that might have contributed to Esi’s actions. They learned to communicate more openly, addressing their fears, desires, and expectations within the relationship.
Throughout the process, Kwesi and Esi discovered the power of empathy and compassion. Kwesi had the strength to extend forgiveness, recognizing that people make mistakes, and that love has the capacity to heal even the deepest wounds. Esi, in turn, felt a renewed commitment to their relationship, vowing to rebuild the trust she had broken.
As Esi’s pregnancy progressed, Kwesi wrestled with conflicting emotions. While the child was not his biologically, he understood that a life was being created, and he chose to embrace the child as his own. With time, he found solace in the idea of becoming a loving and supportive father figure.
Throughout the pregnancy, Kwesi and Esi leaned on each other for support. They attended counseling sessions together, seeking guidance on how to navigate the challenges that lay ahead as they prepared for the arrival of the child. They engaged in open and honest conversations about co-parenting, setting boundaries, and establishing a harmonious environment for their growing family.
In time, the wounds began to heal, and a newfound sense of trust and understanding blossomed between Kwesi and Esi. Their love story took an unexpected turn, but their commitment to each other and their willingness to confront the difficult truth allowed them to find a way forward.
And so, dear reader, the story of Kwesi and Esi teaches us that love is not immune to challenges or mistakes. It reminds us that forgiveness, understanding, and open communication are vital ingredients in healing and rebuilding a fractured relationship. In the picturesque town of Tema, Kwesi and Esi defied the odds, embracing the complexities of their journey and finding strength in their love to overcome the unexpected and create a future filled with hope and redemption.
We Were Doing Perfectly Fine Until His Mother Said I Am Not A Wife Material
In a world where love’s journey intertwines with the opinions of others, there lived a couple named Emma and James. Their love was a beautiful symphony of understanding, respect, and shared dreams. They believed that their connection was unbreakable, until an unexpected hurdle threatened to shatter their harmony.
Emma had always adored James for his kindness, intelligence, and unwavering support. Their love flourished, and they embarked on a journey of building a life together. They reveled in the joys of their relationship, cherishing the moments that weaved them closer.
However, a storm brewed on the horizon when James’ mother, Martha, voiced her disapproval of Emma. Martha, influenced by traditional notions of what constitutes a “wife material,” believed that Emma did not possess the qualities deemed necessary for a successful marriage.
Emma, heartbroken and confused, found herself questioning her worth. She had always believed that love transcends societal expectations, that it is nurtured by genuine connection and shared values. Yet, the weight of Martha’s disapproval cast a shadow over their once-bright path.
Determined to confront the issue head-on, Emma and James engaged in an honest conversation. Emma expressed her pain and confusion, laying bare her vulnerability. James, torn between his love for Emma and his loyalty to his mother, found himself at a crossroads.
In the days that followed, Emma and James embarked on a journey of self-reflection and introspection. They sought to understand their own values, dreams, and aspirations. They confronted the societal pressures that had infiltrated their love and questioned whether conforming to others’ expectations was truly the path they wanted to follow.
As Emma and James delved deeper into their souls, they discovered a newfound strength within themselves and their bond. They recognized that love is a force that can challenge conventions and defy expectations. They understood that a strong and lasting marriage is built on the foundation of love, respect, and mutual support, rather than adherence to traditional ideals.
With newfound clarity, Emma and James chose to embrace their love and confront the judgments of others. They set out on a journey to demonstrate the strength of their relationship, proving that their bond was unbreakable, regardless of others’ opinions.
As time passed, Martha witnessed the unwavering love and unwavering commitment between Emma and James. She saw how they supported each other’s dreams, nurtured their emotional well-being, and celebrated each other’s successes. Slowly but surely, Martha’s heart softened, and she began to appreciate the remarkable woman that Emma truly was.
In time, Martha’s reservations melted away, replaced by acceptance and respect for Emma. She realized that love is not confined to societal constructs but thrives in the presence of genuine connection and shared values.
And so, dear reader, the story of Emma and James reminds us that the path to true love is not always smooth, as it may be interrupted by the voices of others. But when two souls are steadfast in their love and commitment, they can overcome societal expectations and pave their own way, proving that the true measure of a life partner lies not in external judgments, but in the depth of their love and the unwavering support they provide.