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I was probably in year 2 when I realised sitting on my leg and rubbing on it felt good, so I would do that whenever it was possible: in class, at home in the living room, in the car… I didn’t think it was wrong, so I just did it. After a while of this, my mum sat me down and told me not to do it anymore. I didn’t understand why. So, I stopped doing it. In public. I would still rub my legs together whenever I was in my room or in the bathroom. No one was there to tell me not to!

After a lot of reading and spending a lot of time in sex positive communities online and offline, I have realised that it’s not unusual for people to discover masturbation from a young age but have no clue that what they’re doing is sexual. All they know is that it feels good. This was definitely the case for me.

“I was probably around thirteen when I had my first orgasm.”

I’d realised what masturbation was when I was about eleven and had heard that a lot of women (and vulva-owners) did it by putting their fingers inside their vagina. I tried that, but it had felt weird and squidgy and honestly a little bit gross to me at the time. So, I continued with the rubbing, and that was a lot more pleasant. But I’d learnt a while before this that when something feels really, really good, you have an orgasm. I’d had moments before where I’d thought I’d had an orgasm, but it wasn’t quite it, and I stopped because I got bored halfway through since it was taking so long. From there, I began googling masturbation tips, and stumbled upon a Cosmo article that said directing the water from a showerhead to your vulva was a good way to do it, so I tried that for about half an hour, and woosh! I had an orgasm. That makes it sound way easier that it actually was – it wasn’t exactly difficult, I was sat down for all of it, but for me, it took a lot of perseverance.

Around this time, I admitted in a game of ‘never have I ever’ that I masturbated. Maybe a week after, people started asking me questions: “Hey Rachel, I heard that in a game of ‘never have I ever’, someone said that they did something and you said that you did it too?” And, my personal favourite: “Oi Rachel, what do you do in your spare time?” The second one was asked to me multiple times by the same boy. He was a lovely person that had a reputation for having a really good understanding of personal space (sarcasm).

This actually didn’t bother me, and I continued to masturbate in my spare time. When I got a little older, I realised that if I held my pee in for a really, really long time, inside of my body it would feel kind of nice. I felt weird about it though – did this mean I was into pee stuff? The thought of that made me feel really embarrassed and uncomfortable. After a while, I realised that the bladder and the internal clitoris are actually really close to each other, so when the bladder’s full it can actually stimulate the internal part of the clitoris. That made a lot more sense to me. (Though side note: no kink-shaming here. You do you!!!)

I also still felt weird about how the inside of my vagina felt; despite my strong hatred for these films, the American Pie description of the inside of a vagina feeling like “a warm apple pie” isn’t actually entirely inaccurate, but thinking about it in association with those weird, slightly soft pornographic films makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

Anyway. I went onto using vibrators, and I realised that penetration helped me orgasm far, far easier that clitoral stimulation did, which I realised was a little bit of a statistical anomaly (but not completely) – I found direct stimulation of the clitoris way too intense and it mostly just made me giggle.

“I didn’t actually get used to the feeling of the inside of the vagina until I touched someone else’s, and for some reason that made me feel way more comfortable with it.”

It was almost as though feeling it on someone else helped me to notice that it wasn’t that weird of a feeling, and that other people felt the same as that. (Side note: you don’t have to have vulva-on-vulva sex to figure this out, however if you’re into that I definitely recommend it.)

Masturbation helped me become way more comfortable with my body and figure out what I enjoyed in terms of physical stimulation, and the fact that it took me a while to get fully comfortable with it doesn’t bother me at all – taking things at my own pace was definitely a good decision.

So, my review of masturbation is: great stuff. Would recommend doing it reasonably regularly. Good for stress relief. Rated 10/10.

Do you agree with her?


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Sexual Health

Why You Should Disclose Your STI Status to Your Partners




In the vibrant city of Kumasi, Ghana, a tale of love, honesty, and courage unfolded. Meet Ama, a compassionate and determined young woman, and Kwame, a kind-hearted and understanding man. Their love story was one that transcended barriers, as they learned the importance of disclosing their STI status to each other.

As their relationship blossomed, Ama found the strength to open up to Kwame about her STI status. She understood that this conversation was crucial for the well-being and trust within their relationship. With a pounding heart and a sense of vulnerability, Ama mustered the courage to disclose her status, unsure of how Kwame would react.

To her relief, Kwame listened attentively, appreciating Ama’s honesty and her courage to share such a sensitive matter. He assured her that he respected her openness and cared deeply for her well-being. Together, they embraced the importance of transparency and understanding in their relationship.

Recognizing the significance of this conversation, Ama and Kwame embarked on a journey of learning and understanding. They sought guidance from healthcare professionals who provided them with accurate information about the specific STI, its transmission, and the necessary precautions to maintain their sexual health.

With newfound knowledge, Ama and Kwame fostered open lines of communication about their sexual health and desires. They acknowledged that disclosing one’s STI status not only promoted trust and respect but also allowed them to make informed decisions about their intimate lives.

Ama and Kwame understood that their journey would involve taking necessary precautions to ensure their sexual health and prevent the transmission of the STI. They diligently followed the guidance provided by healthcare professionals, including the use of barrier methods and regular check-ups.

Their journey was not without challenges, but they faced them together with unwavering support and understanding. Ama and Kwame recognized that their love extended beyond physical intimacy, and their commitment to each other grew stronger through the trials they faced.

Through their experience, Ama and Kwame learned that disclosing one’s STI status is not only an act of responsibility but also an act of love. It fosters an environment of trust, empathy, and support within a relationship. They discovered that honest communication and education were powerful tools that could strengthen their bond and deepen their connection.

As their love story continued to unfold, Ama and Kwame became advocates for sexual health within their community. They shared their experience and knowledge, encouraging others to have open and honest conversations about their sexual health with their partners.

And so, dear reader, the story of Ama and Kwame teaches us that love and honesty go hand in hand. It reminds us of the importance of disclosing our STI status to our partners, as it fosters trust, respect, and responsible decision-making within our relationships. In the vibrant city of Kumasi, Ama and Kwame celebrated their love, empowered by their openness and the unbreakable bond they had formed.

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Sexual Health

How to Cope With (and Fix) Vaginal Dryness-Naa’s Story




In the serene coastal town of Cape Coast, Ghana, a tale of love and resilience unfolded. Meet Naa, a vibrant and compassionate woman, and Kwame, her devoted partner. Their love story was one of unwavering support and a shared determination to navigate the challenges they faced, including the delicate issue of vaginal dryness.

As time passed, Naa began to experience vaginal dryness, a condition that not only affected her physically but also had an impact on their intimate moments. Sensing Naa’s discomfort, Kwame approached the situation with empathy and a deep desire to find a solution that would allow their love to flourish.

With open hearts and a commitment to their relationship, Naa and Kwame embarked on a journey of understanding and exploration. They recognized that vaginal dryness could be caused by various factors, including hormonal changes, stress, certain medications, and even certain hygiene products.

Together, they sought advice from healthcare professionals who specialized in women’s health. They learned about the various treatment options available, such as lubricants, moisturizers, and hormone therapies. Naa, supported by Kwame’s unwavering presence, sought medical guidance to address any underlying causes contributing to her condition.

In addition to medical interventions, Naa and Kwame discovered the power of open communication. They fostered an environment where discussing their desires, fears, and concerns surrounding intimacy was not only accepted but encouraged. They explored the importance of foreplay, embracing longer periods of arousal and engaging in sensual activities that nurtured their emotional connection.

Naa and Kwame also embarked on a journey of self-discovery. They learned about the power of self-care, embracing practices that nurtured Naa’s overall well-being. They prioritized stress reduction techniques such as meditation, exercise, and engaging in activities they both enjoyed. This allowed Naa to reclaim her sensual identity, free from the pressures that accompanied vaginal dryness.

As they navigated the complexities of vaginal dryness together, Naa and Kwame discovered that their love was not solely defined by physical intimacy. They realized that emotional connection, trust, and open communication were the pillars that held their relationship strong.

Naa and Kwame explored the beauty of intimacy beyond traditional notions. They embraced the power of touch, focusing on sensual massages, extended periods of foreplay, and finding pleasure in exploring new erogenous zones. They learned to be patient with one another, acknowledging that vulnerability and understanding were vital elements in overcoming the challenges they faced.

With time, patience, and a deep commitment to their love, Naa and Kwame found solace in the fact that they were not alone on this journey. They discovered that there is no shame in seeking support or guidance, as they realized that many couples face similar challenges.

And so, dear reader, the story of Naa and Kwame teaches us that love conquers all obstacles. It reminds us that addressing and coping with vaginal dryness requires patience, understanding, and a shared commitment to exploring new avenues of intimacy. In the picturesque town of Cape Coast, Naa and Kwame celebrated their love, embracing the beauty of their connection and the strength they found in facing challenges together.

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Sexual Health

Prostate Cancer: What It Means for Your Sex Life




In the quiet neighborhood of Osu, nestled in the heart of Accra, Ghana, a love story unfolded, weaving together the delicate strands of devotion, resilience, and the unwavering spirit of two souls. Meet Kofi and Akua, a couple whose love stood tall in the face of adversity as they navigated the impact of prostate cancer on their sex life.

Kofi, a kind-hearted and strong-willed man, was diagnosed with prostate cancer, sending shockwaves through their once blissful existence. Akua, a pillar of strength and unwavering support, stood by his side, ready to face the challenges that lay ahead.

As Kofi embarked on his journey of treatment and recovery, both he and Akua realized that their love was not confined to physical intimacy alone. They understood that their connection ran far deeper, rooted in a bond forged by shared dreams, trust, and unwavering companionship.

In the intimate moments of vulnerability, Kofi and Akua openly discussed the impact of prostate cancer on their sex life. They shed tears, shared fears, and explored the options available to them. They sought advice from medical professionals who specialized in cancer care, learning about the potential side effects of treatment and the strategies to navigate them.

Through their research and candid conversations, Kofi and Akua discovered that prostate cancer treatment might cause changes in sexual function, including erectile dysfunction and decreased libido. Armed with knowledge, they embarked on a journey to find new ways to connect and experience pleasure.

They explored the power of communication and trust, recognizing that open dialogue was key to understanding each other’s needs and desires. They learned to embrace the changes and limitations imposed by the illness, finding solace in the knowledge that love transcends physicality.

Kofi and Akua delved into the realm of intimacy, discovering alternative avenues of pleasure and connection. They explored sensual touch, engaged in passionate kisses, and discovered the beauty of emotional intimacy. They embraced the power of non-sexual acts of love, realizing that affection, understanding, and emotional support were the building blocks of their relationship.

They sought guidance from sexual health professionals who specialized in assisting couples affected by cancer. With their support, Kofi and Akua learned techniques to enhance pleasure, utilizing aids and devices that could bring them closer together.

As their journey unfolded, Kofi and Akua discovered a newfound depth to their love. Their intimate moments became a testament to their resilience, strength, and the power of unwavering support. They found solace in the understanding that love is not defined by physical abilities alone but by the profound emotional connection they shared.

And so, dear reader, the story of Kofi and Akua reminds us that love can triumph over adversity. It teaches us that while prostate cancer may pose challenges to a couple’s sex life, it is an opportunity to explore alternative forms of connection and deepen the bond that holds them together. In the vibrant neighborhood of Osu, Kofi and Akua proved that love is not defined by the presence or absence of physical intimacy, but by the unwavering support and unwavering commitment to stand by each other’s side through life’s trials.

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