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It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man with a crush will sometimes hide it if he’s not sure if you feel the same way. No one relishes the experience of rejection, and there are other good reasons someone might hide how they really feel. He could have a partner, or maybe you do. He could be healing from a past relationship or feel like you’re out of his league. He could even wonder if it will mess up the friendship or might suspect that you want different things.

How can you tell if he’s harboring strong feelings for you?

17 Signs He Has Strong Feelings for You

His feelings might be revealing themselves regularly — if you’re paying attention. The following list isn’t all-inclusive, but these are common signs you might notice if your “friend” would like to be more than friends.

1. He Makes Time for You

A man who has strong feelings for you will make time for you. You don’t have to beg him to spend time with you because he’s always initiating it. Even when he’s overwhelmed with work and life in general, he’s still got time for you and makes sure you know it. You feel like a priority and not an option with him.

2. He Shows Up Whenever You Need Him

Who you gonna call? Well, if you’re smart, you’ll call him. After all, he consistently shows up for you. He’s dependable and consistent when it comes to white knighting you — even if you’re a strong, independent person who doesn’t “need” to be saved. He still likes to be there to help you out, and he has no problem riding to the rescue if there’s a crisis. He’s your shoulder to lean on, but he’s also just happy to lend a hand with whatever you need him to do.

3. He’s Consistent with Contact

If this man has strong feelings for you, he’ll be consistent with contact. He texts back, and he doesn’t make you wait and wonder if he’s planning to respond. He’s also consistent in other ways. If he says he’ll call, he calls. If he says he’ll show up, he’ll be there. He’s going to check in on you regularly just to remind you he’s still around.

4. He’s the First to Pick Up on Your Moods

Does it seem like he has a special radar that picks up on all your moods before you have to say a word? Is he the first to ask if you’re okay if you get quiet or seem a little off? A man with strong feelings is paying close attention to you, and he just might notice the subtle mood changes others overlook.

5. He Always Seems Like He Wants to Say More

Does he always seem like he’s on the verge of confessing his feelings? Does it seem like he gets the courage up and then decides to wait instead? It could seem like he’d like to say more but is holding back for some reason. You might know the reason. Maybe you’re not available, or he’s not. Maybe it’s bad timing or the HR policy about dating colleagues. There could be a good reason, but you often sense he’s holding back how he really feels and would say more if he could.

6. He’s Vulnerable with You

This guy lets his guard down with you. While he wants to impress you, he’s also willing to show his softer side. He opens up about his personal life and shows you a side of himself that you know everyone else doesn’t get to see. He’s letting you in even though vulnerability puts him at risk of judgment and rejection. You mean that much to him.

7. The People He Loves Know About You

The people he loves know all about you. His family. His friends. His neighbor. Anyone he deems important has heard your name once or twice — and not just in passing. Everyone else seems to know that you’re special to him even if you haven’t let fully realized it.

8. He Tries to Make You Smile and Laugh

The guy with big feelings for you might make it his life’s mission to make you smile and laugh. He just wants to make you happy and hates to see you angry or sad. He might be a goofball at times, but he only does it to entertain you.

9. He Doesn’t Think Anyone Else is Good Enough for You

Is anyone you date good enough for you? Not in his eyes! He’s quick to let you know that the people you partner with just don’t deserve you. He’s quick to criticize them and to remind you that you deserve every good thing. You’re worth it, and he doesn’t want you to forget it. He wants to see you treated right, and anyone who can’t do that won’t pass the vibe check with him.

10. He Remembers the Little Things

Does it seem like he remembers every little thing you’ve said? It’s possible that he does because he’s tuned into you. He might show up with your favorite childhood candy you mentioned once or remember a special date anyone else would have forgotten. He’s showing his strong feelings by prioritizing information about you to show he cares.

11. He Includes You in His Plans

When he makes plans, does he automatically assume you’re included? He doesn’t ever leave you out or treat you like an afterthought. In fact, he’s always making plans that include you and might even seem bummed if you can’t make it because he looks forward to spending time with you.

12. He Flirts with You Often

Some men are just flirty. The man who has strong feelings for you might be even more flirty than usual. You might even notice that he’s different with you than with others. He might be testing the waters, or he just might like you so much he can’t resist.

13. He Respects Your Opinion and Asks for It

The man with strong feelings for you likely respects your opinion and even asks for your advice. He cares what you think. While all men should be respectful, this guy seems to pay particular attention to what you have to say and carefully considers it even when he disagrees.

14. He Compliments You Often

His strong feelings for you might just come out in compliments. He may go out of his way to let you know that he thinks you look great, but his compliments aren’t just limited to how you look. He loves your smile, your laugh, the way you do the things you do. He’s always lifting you up and making you feel good.

15. He Teases You — In a Sweet Way

This lovable goofball might just tease you — in a sweet way. If he gives you a hard time, he’ll do it playfully and in the spirit of flirty play. His teasing is meant to draw you out and make you laugh, and he doesn’t mind being teased in return. In fact, your banter together might be one of the things you love best about your time with him.

16. He’s Always Gazing at You

A man with a crush on you is always sneaking a peek in your direction. He might be aiming for discreet, but you might catch him watching. The soulful gaze might not be meant to be seen, but that doesn’t mean you can’t feel it on you. If eyes are windows to the soul, his are giving you a clue.

17. He Thinks Even You’re Annoying Quirks are Cute

Even the most annoying things about you are deemed cute by a man with strong feelings. Your loud laugh, the way you chew, and even your worst habits are considered endearing. He’s decided he likes everything about you — even the things other people might consider to be flaws.

Once You’ve Decoded His Crush, Do This

This man has serious feelings for you. So, what should you do about it?

Don’t Lead Him On if You’re Not Interested

If you’re not interested, let him down gently. Don’t lead him on or make him think there’s a chance. It might stroke your ego, but it’s unkind to him. If you sense he has bigger feelings than he’s confessed, be sure to let him know that you appreciate his friendship but don’t have romantic feelings for him.

You might be afraid to lose the friendship, but good friends are honest. It might hurt his feelings, but it might also set him free to heal and move on in his dating life. It could even clear the air so you can enjoy the friendship without wondering if you’re accidentally sending mixed signals.

Let Him Know if You Return His Feelings

If you feel the same way, you might need to be the one who makes the first move. He might be waiting for a sign. Unless one or both of you have existing partners — in that case, don’t make a move until you’ve exited your current relationships fully.

If you feel strongly about him, let him know. Don’t waste another minute on the will-we-or-won’t-we dynamic. You might be afraid to lose the friendship, but remember that the best romantic relationships are built on strong friendships.

Let Him Know If He’s Making You Uncomfortable

If he has strong feelings but you don’t, let him know if his flirty behavior makes you uncomfortable. You might have to ask for more boundaries if you feel like he sometimes crosses a line. If you’ve made it clear you’re not into him that way and he continues to reference romantic feelings, you might need to remind him that it’s not being a good friend to constantly make you feel uncomfortable. He’s responsible for dealing with his feelings, and you shouldn’t have to be constantly put in the hot seat for not returning them.

Let Him Know What You Want

If you like him as much as he likes you, clarify what kind of relationship you want with him. If you just want something casual, be honest. If you think he’s your soulmate, share that. Be clear about what you want, and listen to what he wants, too. If you’re not on the same page, it’s better to know that upfront.

You might already have an inkling that he has strong feelings for you. You’ve seen the signs, but you’ve been doubting them. Now that you know, you simply have to decide what you want — and what you want to do. You can keep ignoring it if you choose, but the truth, as they say, will out.

Source: Crystal Jackson

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Relationships

Why Do Couples Stop Having Sex? Top 12 Common Reasons

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Intimacy in marriage is a vital cog in the smooth running of a relationship. When sex and intimacy leave a marriage, your mind can’t help but go to the darkest place and worry that your partner no longer finds you attractive or is having an affair.

This begs the question, can a sexless marriage survive?

While sex is not the most defining factor in relationship happiness, sex and intimacy missing in your marriage can lead to serious relationship issues like anger, infidelity, communication breakdown, lack of self-esteem, and isolation – all of which can ultimately lead to irreparable damage to the relationship, ending in divorce.

Read this article to find out why do couples stop having sex and understand the sexual dynamics of relationships better:

Why do couples stop having sex? Top 12 reasons

The following are some common reasons why intimacy goes missing from a marriage.

Take an honest look at your relationship and see if any of these ring true. They just may help you to understand key reasons for intimacy missing in your marriage and get back on track to bring intimacy back into your marriage.

1. Immense stress

Women, in particular, find it hard to believe that stress could impact a man’s sexual desire. If you are looking for a way to fix the intimacy missing in your marriage, you must slay the biggest culprit in a sexless marriage – stress.

This is because we’ve spent our lives being told that men are always in the mood for sex, and this is simply not true. Stress at work or home can leave men and women exhausted, making sleep or some other way to relax more appealing than sex.

Studies have found a link between stress and decreased sex drive. Talk to your partner about what’s causing them stress, and do what you can to help take some of the burdens off their shoulders.

Resentment can put a strain on intimacy

2. Low self-esteem

Self-esteem and body image issues don’t only affect women. No one is exempt from feeling down about themselves.

Low self-esteem can take a toll on a person’s relationships, particularly when it comes to physical intimacy, because it leads to inhibitions and, ultimately, to a sexless relationship.

If intimacy is missing in your marriage, cultivate the habit of complimenting and appreciating your partner.

Compliment your spouse and let them know that you find them attractive. You can help make them more comfortable by leaving the lights dim and staying under the covers.

Is your wife not interested in sex? Is the lack of intimacy in marriage from your husband eating away at your peace of mind? Be patient and do your part to resolve intimacy issues and help them feel loved and desired.

3. Rejection

Have you rejected your partner’s advances in the past? Perhaps you have been less than enthused when they tried to show you affection in or out of the bedroom.

These things can put your partner off of intimacy.

No one wants to feel as though their partner sees sex with them as a chore, and this is what can happen if you constantly put off sex or never initiate it.

Lack of sex in a relationship impairs a couple’s connection and leads to a slew of marital problems, including depression.

Living in a sexless marriage can make the partners feel unwanted, unattractive, and completely demotivated. Marriage becomes drudgery, and as a result, either one of the partners starts experiencing frustration and loses the motivation to devote energy to other important areas of life too.

If you are looking for tips on how to survive a sexless marriage or to overcome a lack of intimacy in marriage, it would be most helpful to consult a certified sex therapist who deals with intimacy problems.

Low self-esteem can take a toll on a person’s relationships

4. Resentment

Your partner may be feeling resentful.

Unresolved issues in your relationship can make them pull away and withdraw affectionately and emotionally. If there aren’t any glaring issues that you can think of, then consider whether or not your partner feels unappreciated or let down by the way you treat them.

The only way to get to the bottom of this is to talk openly about the relationship and try to resolve any issues that may strain intimacy.

5. Lack of non-physical intimacy

Intimacy missing in a marriage isn’t just about a lack of sex.

Your sex life can suffer if there’s a lack of emotional intimacy too. Feeling disconnected from your partner can make it hard to connect during sex or enjoy it. This isn’t only limited to women either; men crave emotional intimacy from their spouses too.

Spending quality time together can help build emotional intimacy and ultimately bring back physical intimacy. It is important for couples to understand why sex is important and how couples can use intimacy and sex as glue to maintain their love bond.

6. Become platonic partners over time

One of the reasons to explain why couples stop having sex is by taking a look at their day-to-day dynamics, as they may have turned platonic over time.

A married couple can get caught up in the day-to-day struggle of life, where they end up overlooking the sexual aspect of their relationship. They become versions of roommates or best friends that are leading their life together.

Have you rejected your partner’s advances in the past?

7. Exhaustion

No intimacy in relationships can be the result of physical or mental exhaustion that the couple might be facing. It can make one or both partners lack the motivation to have sex.

8. Boredom

Wondering when couples stop having sex? Possible when they stop trying new things in the bedroom.

Sex can become boring if you don’t constantly try things that can make it more fun, exciting and engaging. In the absence of new ways to enjoy sex with your partner, marital sex can become boring for some.

9. Lack of hygiene

When intimacy stops in a relationship, you can try to assess whether there has been a difference in hygiene maintenance by either you or your partner.

When two people are together for a long time, they may start taking things for granted, and that may include maintaining good hygiene. And therefore, bad hygiene can become the reason for their partner to lose interest in them sexually.

10. Form of payback or punishment

You may have to start worrying about the effects of lack of intimacy in a relationship if one or both partners end up withholding sex as a form of punishment for bad behavior by their partner. Some can use lack of sex to punish their partner over time, over disagreements, fights, or opposing opinions.

11. Health issues

One of the important reasons not to have sex can be based on health issues that impede one’s sexual abilities and desires. Hormonal imbalance and erectile dysfunction are some such reasons that can affect one’s ability to have sex.

12. Aging

Not having sex in relationships can also be attributed to age-related factors. One’s hormones and physicality may face certain limits as one gets older, and this can impact their sexual relations with their partner.
Some commonly asked questions

Here are some answers to some important questions related to couples not having sex that can help you understand things better:

Is it normal for couples to stop having sex?

It is normal for couples to go through various phases in their sex lives, some of which may be marked by a lack of or reduced sexual activity between them. However, things can get problematic if the lack of sex lasts for a long period of time without any hope for a better future.

Couples can consider meeting an expert for relationship counseling to help them sort out any sexual problems between them.

At what age do most couples stop having sex?

There is no set age by which couples stop having sex; however, studies conducted on the sexual frequency of people have concluded that usually that couples experience a decline with time.

What happens when a couple stops having sex?

If there is intimacy missing in your marriage, there will be cracks in your relationship, leading to potentially a permanent loss of emotional and verbal connection with your spouse.

Here are the other problems that can explain what happens when couples stop sleeping together:

  • Partners start withdrawing from each other
  • The rejected partner feels unloved and insecure
  • Chances of cheating on a spouse increase manifold
  • If intimacy issues persist, divorce becomes imminent

To fix a sexless marriage or overcome intimacy missing in your marriage, it is important to understand the causes of intimacy missing in the marriage.

Final thoughts

Things are not always what they seem.

Lack of sexual intimacy in marriage can stem from many things. Avoid jumping to conclusions and have a frank discussion with your partner without being accusatory. Don’t let a breakdown in intimacy create a lack of emotional connection, marital conflicts, relationship dissatisfaction, and bitterness in your marriage.

An unhappy marriage is not the best place to hang out with your partner. Learn how to fix and reignite the spark in your relationship, to strengthen the love bond with your significant other before little or no intimacy in marriage leads to marriage breakdown.

Source:marriage.com

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Relationships

Best Tips For Growing Intimacy In Marriage

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Couples get married because they want to share their lives with the one they love in a very intimate way. As humans being, we wish to be unconditionally loved and always yearn to be close to our partners. When one thinks of intimacy, the mind immediately translates that to mean sexual intimacy. Of course, sexual intimacy in a marriage is extremely important (and a lack of it can destroy the marriage); but in time, all married couples realize that a sexual relationship is only one of the many myriad ways that they can experience being intimate with each other.

Emotional, intellectual & spiritual intimacy along with heart-to-heart dialogues are also significant methods of getting close with their spouse. Partners in love are the real architects, who can revolutionize their marriages, by making intimacy more personal and specific to them.

If you wish to enjoy better intimacy with your spouse, have a candid discussion with them about how you can make your love life more purposeful and emotional.

Create an atmosphere of love and closeness and let passion, care, affection freely flow in your marriage. Women, mostly, like to connect on a deeper emotional level.

For men, it can be the other way around. Be mindful of each other’s needs on a daily basis and forge a friendship that is unique and truly intimate.

Listening to romantic music together, holding hands, sharing feelings, taking a long walk and sharing a meal will all contribute in increasing love for each other in the marriage and create real intimacy.

Source: Marriage.com

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Relationships

For couples: 4 importance of counselling before marriage

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Counselling before marriage is also known as pre-marriage or pre-marital counselling and is essential for everybody whether in a relationship or not.

Pre-marital counselling is a type of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage and the challenges, benefits and rules that comes with it.

Engaging in counselling before marriage helps to ensure that you and your partner have a strong, healthy, non-toxic relationship which gives you a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage. It can also help you identify your individual weaknesses that could become problems during marriage and also tries to proffer a solution.

If you are planning to settle down with your partner or in a relationship, here are some benefits of counselling for you:

Helps in planning for the future

Premarital counsellors do more than just help couples talk through their current issues. They also help couples plan for the future. A counsellor can help couples set financial or family planning goals and can proffer them a way to accomplish those goals.

Discover new things about the couples themselves

Premarital therapy sessions give you the opportunity and freedom to discuss things that do not come up in normal conversations between you and your partner, like his or her dark secrets, hurtful past experiences, sex, and expectations. Marriage counsellors and therapists ask a lot of questions when they are working with couples that are considering long-term commitments such as marriage. Listening carefully to your partner’s answers is a great way to learn more about who you are about to commit to.

Builds up effective communication skills

There is no relationship without communication. And as it is known, one of the most important aspects of any marriage is having an effective communication with your partner. When a couple stops caring and stops talking to one another, the marriage will eventually lead to a divorce. Counseling can help you learn how to be a good listener and also how to talk to your partner; therefore you know how to talk to your partner and what the other person wants and needs. When you live with someone day in and day out, it is very easy to take each other for granted, but keeping an open line of communication and expressing love to one another builds a relationship that can withstand the test of time and any storm.

Enables couples to absorb the counsellors’ wisdom

Sharing issues with someone who has been married for a while is another big benefit of seeking pre-marriage counselling. When you talk to a marriage counsellor, you get a firsthand or primary voice of wisdom on the subject of marriage. Marriage counsellor gets to share their experiences and the sacrifices they’ve made to keep the marriage healthy.

Source: PulseGhana

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