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Done right, the buildup to sex can be just as good as the main event—especially with these foreplay ideas.

Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or having a first-time hookup, foreplay tends to get overlooked. Part of the reason? It’s easy for foreplay tips to feel a little contrived: Start by making out, move on to some over-the-bra action, make your way below the belt. But foreplay doesn’t have to be quite so paint-by-the-numbers. We asked sex therapists and experts to weigh in on how to foreplay while keeping things interesting. You’re going to want to have this list handy the next time you get frisky.

1. Relive your best moments.

Relationship fact: The early days of your romance tend to be the hottest and heaviest. But that doesn’t mean you can’t still capture that gotta-have-you-now passion. Next time you and your partner are getting intimate, use those early hookups as inspiration to re-create one of your past encounters, says sexologist Barbara Winter, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist and fellow and clinical supervisor of the American Board of Sexology. This can start before sex—for example, going to one of your old date-night spots or wearing the same clothes you wore during a hot moment at the beginning of your relationship. Then, later in the night, break out a move you used to do in bed that really turned you both on.

2. Start off outside the bedroom.

Another hallmark of those hot early hookups is that they don’t necessarily happen in the bedroom. If you want to make things more spontaneous, try initiating foreplay in the kitchen, office, garage, or anywhere else where you don’t typically do it, says sex and relationship coach Claudia Six, Ph.D., a board-certified clinical sexologist. “It’s the unexpected that keeps things interesting,” she says. You can either lead your partner to the bedroom afterward or just have sex right then and there. You might be surprised how many places to have sex you’ve been overlooking.

3. Talk dirty.

Dirty talk can be ridiculously effective for getting turned on—it’s an especially good way to initiate foreplay. Not sure where to start? No need to overthink it. Sometimes the most effective dirty talk can be as simple as just stating exactly what you want your partner to do to you in your most seductive voice.

4. Cool it.

Heat and cold can both add a lot to the sensations you’re already feeling. One often recommended (and maybe overused) foreplay tips for men is to suck on an ice cube before giving oral sex. In reality, the idea of a chilly penis might not be such a turn on for your partner, but you can still play with temperature in other erogenous zones—like running an ice cube down their neck on a steamy summer day.

5. Heat things up.

To play with heat, try dripping warm wax on each other’s bodies (just make sure to get your partner’s permission first) or use a warming lube. Playing with hot and cold—or the two combined—should create “a delicious shiver,” says Six.

6. Do a little dance.

Looking to up the ante during foreplay? Have your partner sit on the bed, put on an anthem that always has you feelin’ yourself (cough, anything by Rihanna, cough) and give them a lap dance. For some added excitement, have your partner start off fully dressed so you can personally remove their garments one by one. Or if you’re feeling extra bold, do your dance in the buff.

7. Make foreplay an all-day event.

Foreplay doesn’t need to be limited to the bedroom. Whether it’s sexy texts throughout the day or stolen kisses while you’re doing errands, foreplay can start well before the main event. Tease each other throughout the entire day for extra heat.

8. Do the unexpected.

If all your intimate encounters are starting to look eerily similar, one of the best foreplay tips you can use is to switch things up. For example, if you always get down at night, trying initiating a sex session first thing in the morning. Normally leave the lights off? Try lighting candles instead. Or make a new sex playlist. Just like switching up where you have sex and engage in foreplay, you can switch up how you do it too.

9. Tell each other how you feel.

Okay, okay, before you cringe, remember there is a reason words of affirmation are a love language. Telling your partner what you like about them is a huge turn-on. Who doesn’t like compliments?

10. Act out a fantasy.

Everyone has a sexual fantasy—acting one out is one of the most surefire ways to make all of your partner’s foreplay dreams come true. Have them write down 10 fantasies they have—think: Eve and Villanelle on Killing Eve or Jamie and Claire from Outlander—on little slips of paper. Then choose one randomly and act it out. Admittedly, this can feel a little cheesy at first. To help you get past any awkwardness, the experts recommend just trying to keep it up for 30 seconds. Even in that short amount of time, you might find yourselves getting swept up in your roles.

11. Don’t kiss.

Sometimes almost kissing can be as tantalizing as kissing. Hear us out. Get face-to-face with your partner, either lying down side by side or with one of you on top of the other. Get close enough so that your mouths are just barely touching and your lips are parted—though not actually kissing. Instead, breathe in and out at opposite times, so you’re “trading” breaths. It’s simple but deeply intimate—you’ll be surprised at how steamy things get.

12. Get a massage.

Sometimes the best form of foreplay is as simple as relaxing. When your mind is on a thousand different things—the never-ending to-do list, that cryptic comment from your boss this week, school drop-offs—it can be a challenge to really be present and get in the mood with your partner (hence why chilling out is often included on lists of foreplay ideas for women). Giving each other a sensual massage is a recipe for relaxation.

13. Watch a sexy movie together.

If you and your partner are both into porn or are at least intrigued by it, try checking it out together. Winter recommends talking afterward about what you each like and dislike and what you might want to try (or not). Sometimes it opens you up to ideas you might not have thought of before. Start by looking for feminist porn sites.

14. Find a sexy story.

If the visual medium isn’t your thing, that’s totally fine. Watching people have sex onscreen doesn’t do it for everyone. But don’t write all forms of porn off just yet. Listening to a sexy audio story or reading a piece of erotica that turns you both on can be a great way to get in the mood. Check out Dipsea for the sexy alternative to your favorite podcast.

15. Mime each other’s moves.

Sometimes we can learn a lot about how our partner likes to be touched and kissed by observing how they touch and kiss us. Paying close attention to and mimicking our partner’s moves is not only a fantastic round of foreplay, it can show you how to turn them on in the future. It’s as simple as it sounds: Sit, stand, or lie down facing each other. Then begin miming the other’s moves. If his or her hand reaches to slip your top off, you do the same to them.

16. Play a kissing game.

Tell your partner to sit on the sofa or lie down on the bed. Kiss them—on the mouth, the cheeks, the forehead, the ears, the eyelids, the neck, hands, knees, you name it. Here’s the catch: Your partner has to stay totally still. They can’t move, or touch you, or try to kiss you back. The buildup and anticipation will have you both dying to get intimate.

17. Be a tease.

Have your partner lie on their back and proceed to play a little game of “getting warmer.” Use your hands (or your mouth) to gently caress different parts of their body. You could start with random spots like the knees or forehead and then move to more erogenous zones. While you’re moving about, ask how your partner is handling the temperature. Keep “getting warmer” until they can’t take it anymore and then switch roles.

18. Practice your communication skills.

Since everyone has different turn-ons, the best thing you can do is pay attention to what works for you and then try to re-create it, says Winter. Don’t be afraid to let your partner know when they do something that you like. They’ll probably be happy to keep doing whatever gets you going in the future, and they’ll definitely appreciate the positive feedback. Next time you’re having a quiet moment with your partner, start a conversation about what he or she likes during foreplay. Chances are, just talking about it might lead to more.

19. Act like strangers.

This is the perfect way to switch things up with your partner and bring back those first-date butterflies, says Emily Morse, Ph.D., host of the podcast Sex With Emily. Approach each other at your favorite bar (or a new one you’ve been meaning to try). Then come up with a fun back story, and chat each other up as if it’s the first time you’re meeting. “This is a chance to let go and act out a fantasy you’ve always wanted to try, or simply feel it out in the moment,” Morse says. “You get the thrill of a ‘one-night stand’ without the hassle, or infidelity.”

20. Make a “yes/no/maybe” list.

If you’re looking for ways to spice up your sex life, downloading a “yes/no/maybe” list from the internet is a great way for you and your partner get started. According to Morse, these lists can help you determine what you and your partner are willing to try in the bedroom, and include everything from BDSM to sex toys and nonmonogamy. Each person goes through the list and marks which items are a yes, a maybe, or a definite no. Review the lists together to see where you and your partner land. “Discussing this can be arousing, but also lead to learning even more about your partner, and exploring something new that you might have never considered before,” Morse says.

21. Sext.

Next time you’re on your way home, send a flirty text. If you haven’t sexted before, it can feel intimidating, so remember it’s all about what makes you feel sexy. Maybe that’s a photo, or a poem, or a description of what you’re going to do to your partner when you get home.

Source: Glamour

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15 Signs He Will Marry You Someday




Are you currently enjoying a great relationship with your boyfriend? However, the fear of the future could give you doubts, making you worry that he will leave you someday. Questions like, “Is he going to marry me?” and “Are we going to end up together?” are probably popping up from time to time.

So, what is the assurance that your partner is serious with you? And does he have a plan for your future together? You can observe how he treats you now and his current goals. Does he include the future in his priorities or not?

If you want to find out about your boyfriend’s real intentions, here are some signs that he will marry you someday:

How He Treats You Now
1. He Respects You as a Woman.

Is he a gentleman towards you? Does he respect the boundaries you have set in the relationship? And does he respect your principles, values, beliefs, and opinions? If he respects you as a person, it means he is careful not to hurt you in any way. He does not want to give you any reason to turn your back on him. That is one great sign that he hopes your relationship will last and end up in marriage.

2. He Serves You.

Another sign that he wants to marry you is service. Does he give you a foot massage, cook your food, and do your laundry? By treating you like a queen, he wants to prove that he can take good care of you. It is like giving you a glimpse of the life you would have if you choose to marry him.

3. He is Protective of You.

If a man loves you, he will be protective of you. Why? It is because he claims you to be his better half. For this reason, he will do everything to keep you safe and give you a secure life. He will always fight for your relationship and shield you from anything that can be emotionally or mentally destructive, such as gossip, doubts, and stress.

4. He Wants to be Involved in Your Daily Life.

One way to see how serious a guy is with you is his involvement in your life. If he makes an effort to visit you at home and help you with house chores, even if it is not his responsibility, that is it. Also, if he supports your career and even gives you a helping hand to create your presentations and other tasks, you are blessed.

5. He Involves You in His Life.

Aside from being involved in your routines, he also wants you to be part of his own world. He invites you to meet his family and friends. In addition, he introduces you to his colleagues at work and makes you his plus-one whenever their company has events.

6. He Bonds with Your Family.

Another sign that he is serious about your relationship is his effort to get the trust of your family. He understands that if he loves you, he has to love the people important to you as well. For this reason, he bonds with them, gives them gifts, and even serves them whenever he can. In short, he treats them as his own family.

Bringing It to a Spiritual Level
7. He Goes to Church with You Regularly.

Does he always encourage you to go to church with him regularly? If yes, it means he really wants your relationship to end up in marriage. As a responsible man, he knows that he must be the spiritual leader of his future family. For this reason, he wants to start by being a good influence on valuing the church.

8. He Establishes a Regular Devotion and Prayer Time with You.

What more if he also makes sure you have your regular devotion and prayer time. If he is a devoted Christian, it means he believes that God is the author of love. He should also be the center of every marriage and family. To develop a relationship that will lead to a Christ-centered marriage, he will do everything to strengthen his and your faith.

9. He Encourages You to Read the Bible and Share Your Reflections with Him.

In connection with no. 7, your boyfriend may as well remind you daily to have your Quiet Time with the Lord. Then, during your devotion and prayer time, he may ask you to share your own reflections with him.

10. He Asks Spiritual Leaders to be Accountable for Your Relationship.

A person who wants to secure his relationship understands that they need guidance from wiser people. Therefore, if your boyfriend asks guidance from your church pastors and leaders to make sure your relationship will be healthy, you are blessed with a good man.

11. He Wants You Both to Attend Marriage Counselling.

And what is the surest sign that he wants to marry you someday? His desire for the both of you to go through marriage counselling! It means he wants you to start preparing yourselves for the next chapter of your relationship. The good thing about attending marriage counselling first is you become mentally, emotionally, and spiritually ready for what is to come. Then, your expectations, plans, and priorities begin to shift in that direction.

Practical Preparations
12. He Works Hard to Have Financial Stability.

Of course, a man who wants marriage will also prepare financially aside from spiritual preparation. So, if your boyfriend is working diligently to have a secure job or source of income, it is a sign. It means he is mature enough to think ahead. That is why he will not be sidetracked.

13. He Starts Saving Money for the Future.

Next to securing the right source of income is the plan to save money. He understands that building a family is not cheap. So, if he wants to marry you, he will save enough money to give you the best wedding and start your family together.

14. He Asks You About Your Dream Wedding.

Another sure sign that he wants to marry you someday is his question about your dream wedding. It means he has a plan to make it come true. Since he loves you so much, he wants to ensure that you will be the happiest bride to walk down the aisle.

15. He Likes to Plan with You about Your Future Family.

Is he excited about your future family? Does he love planning about your future house and kids? Do you talk about where to live? If he is, he surely wants to marry you. You can tell that he is serious about your relationship and wants it to last.
Can You See Him in Your Future?

If most of these signs apply to your boyfriend, there is no doubt that he wants to marry you someday. The question now is, do you also want to marry him? Can you imagine waking up every morning next to him for the rest of your life?

Marriage is a serious matter, so it must not be taken lightly. Before deciding to get married, make sure that you have known each other well already. And see to it that you are willing to stay committed no matter what trials you go through as a couple in the future.

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How Guys Test Their Girlfriends




Do you ever wonder if your new boyfriend is observing you? Well, if a guy is serious about having a long-lasting relationship, it is normal that he would want to make sure he has chosen the right girl. He will test his girlfriend in different ways to see her responses to situations. So, what are the ways in which guys test their girlfriends?

If you want to find out how your partner can be testing you, check out some of the ways he may do it:

How You Trust Him
1. He Intentionally Leaves His Phone Behind.

Does your boyfriend often leave his phone around you? Well, aside from being a good sign that he is not hiding any phone conversations from you, it can also be his way to know you more. You might not know it, but he is probably trying to catch you checking his phone. He wants to find out if you are one of those sneaky girlfriends who spy on their boyfriends’ phones and messaging apps.

2. He Talks about Other Girls.

What do you feel whenever your boyfriend talks about other girls? Do you feel jealous? Since your boyfriend wants to know if you truly trust him, it is possible that he will try to make you jealous of others. He knows that one way to do that is by letting you hear stories about the beautiful girls he has met.

3. He Introduces You to His Girl Friends.

Aside from talking about them, he may also introduce you to other girls to see if you get jealous easily. He knows that it is hard to be in a relationship with someone who will want him to get rid of his lady friends. Of course, men want to end up with women who trust them enough not to be jealous of their friends.

If He Can Trust You

4. He Asks to Borrow Your Phone.

Guys want to make sure they can trust their girlfriends too. For this reason, expect that your boyfriend will look for ways to prove you are trustworthy. For instance, has he ever borrowed your phone unexpectedly? If you let him borrow it without any hesitation, you are safe. Doubts would have only happened if you gave excuses not to let him have it.

5. He Will Ask About Your Past Relationships.

Has your partner shown interest in your previous relationships? Did he ask you how those failed? It is not only for sympathy and knowing what kind of a partner you are. He also wants to make sure you did not cause problems in those relationships. If you did, there is a chance you could do it this time. He just wants to be careful.

6. He Will Observe How You Hang Out with Your Friends, Especially Guys.

Has your boyfriend met your friends already? If he is making an effort to hang out with your friends, there is a possibility he is observing your social circle too. Just like how most girls would be uncomfortable around their boyfriends’ female friends at first, your partner could be checking if your guy friends are threats or not. You may not be aware of it, but he could be observing how you treat and act around them.

How Your Character Is
7. He Suddenly Cancels a Planned Date.

Your boyfriend wants to see how flexible you are too. That is why it would not be a surprise if he tests your patience from time to time. For instance, has he ever canceled a date at the last minute? How did you react to it? After a while, did he tell you it was only a prank?

8. He Tells You He is Broke.

Any man does not like to be loved for the material things he can provide. Your boyfriend feels the same. For this reason, he might let you know that he does not have much money to see if your behavior towards him would change. He wants to find out if you are willing to stay with him even if he is not rich.

9. He Lets You Spend Time with His Family.

Has he invited you to stay for at least a few days with him and his family? One of the reasons he would do this is his desire to know more about your character. He wants to see how you would treat his family or the people around him.

10. He Pretends to Forget Your Monthsary.

How thoughtful is your boyfriend? Has he ever pranked you that he forgot your monthsary? Probably, it was not a mere prank. He could be checking your reaction too, just like in no. 7. Being his new girlfriend, your man wants to know if you are sensitive or not. He also likes to find out how mature you are in dealing with disappointing situations.

If You’re a Homemaker Material
11. He Surprises You with a Visit to Your Place.

Does your boyfriend like sudden visits? Maybe it is not just because he misses you. He probably wants to see how your place looks whenever there are no expected visitors. If you are to be his future wife, he wants to see if you can manage house chores. Of course, he hopes to marry a woman who can be a homemaker for him and his future children.

12. He Challenges You to Cook His Favorite Food.

Aside from observing how clean your place is, your boyfriend probably wants to know if you can cook too. Therefore, do not be surprised if he teases you about your cooking skill. His main purpose is probably to challenge you to cook for him. It is also possible that he will ask you to cook him his favorite dish.

How Guys Test Their Girlfriends
13. He Observes How You Deal with Kids.

Any man who wants to settle down and have kids would choose a woman who can be an excellent mother. Has your boyfriend let you meet his little nephews and nieces? Or did he ask you to help him babysit them for a day? He is probably observing how you act around kids and if you can take care of them.

14. He Lets You Handle Money

Some couples decide to have joint savings even if they are not married yet. If your boyfriend lets you manage your savings and regular budgets together, he can be testing how you handle money matters. Of course, he wants to make sure his future wife can be depended on in managing the family finances.
It is Okay

So, what if your boyfriend is really testing you? It is not something you should feel bad about. It is advisable that you do the same thing to secure your relationship. Find ways to test his faithfulness, character, and reliability as a future husband and father.

Love is not enough to keep a relationship long-lasting. There are individual factors that must be considered and adjusted too. If conflicting behaviors are settled early in the relationship, there is a higher chance that your love story will have a happy ending.


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How to Rebuild Trust After a Betrayal




Trust is an essential component of a strong relationship, but it doesn’t happen quickly. And once it’s broken, it’s hard to rebuild.

When you think about circumstances that could lead you to lose trust in your partner, infidelity may come to mind right away. But cheating isn’t the only way to break trust in a relationship.

Other possibilities include:

a pattern of going back on your word or breaking promises
not being there for your partner in a time of need
withholding, or keeping something back
lying or manipulation
a pattern of not sharing feelings openly
What does trust really mean?

Before going over how to rebuild trust, it’s important to understand what trust is, exactly.

To start, it might be helpful to think of trust as a choice that someone has to make. You can’t make someone trust you. You might not choose to trust someone until they show that they’re worthy of it.

Signs of trust in a relationship

Trust can mean different things to different people. In a romantic relationship, trust might mean:

You feel committed to the relationship and to your partner.
You feel safe with your partner and know they’ll respect physical and emotional boundaries.
You know your partner listens when you communicate your needs and feelings.
You don’t feel the need to hide things from your partner.
You and your partner respect each other.
You can be vulnerable together.
You support each other.

It’s also important to understand what trust isn’t.

In a relationship, for example, trust doesn’t necessarily mean you tell your partner every single thing that crosses your mind. It’s totally normal to have personal thoughts you keep to yourself.

Trust also doesn’t mean giving each other access to:

bank accounts (unless it’s a shared one)
personal computers
cell phones
social media accounts

You may not mind sharing this information, especially in case of an emergency. But the presence of trust in a relationship generally means you don’t need to check up on your partner. You have faith in them and feel able to talk about any concerns you might have.

Rebuilding trust when you’ve been betrayed

Having someone break your trust can leave you feeling hurt, shocked, and even physically sick. It might prompt you to consider your relationship — and your partner — in a different way.

If you want to attempt to rebuild trust, here are some good starting points.

Consider the reason behind the lie or betrayal

When you’ve been lied to, you might not care much about the reasons behind it.

But people do sometimes lie when they simply don’t know what else to do. This doesn’t make their choice right, but it can help to consider how you might have reacted in their position.

Sure, your partner may have betrayed you to protect themselves, but they may have had a different motive. Were they trying to protect you from bad news? Make the best of a bad money situation? Help a family member?

Maybe the betrayal of trust resulted from a miscommunication or misunderstanding.

Whatever happened, it’s important to make it clear that what they did wasn’t OK. But knowing the reasons behind their actions may help you decide whether you’re able to begin rebuilding the trust you once shared.

Communicate, communicate, communicate

It might be painful or uncomfortable, but one of the biggest aspects of rebuilding trust after betrayal is talking to you partner about the situation.

Set aside some time to clearly tell them:

how you feel about the situation
why the betrayal of trust hurt you
what you need from them to start rebuilding trust

Give them a chance to talk, but pay attention to their sincerity. Do they apologize and seem truly regretful? Or are they defensive and unwilling to own up to their betrayal?

You may feel emotional or upset during this conversation. These feelings are completely valid. If you feel yourself getting too upset to continue communicating in a productive way, take a break and come back to the topic later.

Talking about what happened is just the beginning. It’s perfectly fine, and entirely normal, if you can’t work through everything in just a night or two.

Practice forgiveness

If you want to repair a relationship after a betrayal, forgiveness is key. Not only will you need to forgive your partner, but you also may need to forgive yourself.

Blaming yourself in some way for what happened can keep you stuck in self-doubt. That can hurt the chances of your relationship’s recovery.

Depending on the betrayal, it might be hard to forgive your partner and move forward. But try to remember that forgiving your partner isn’t saying that what they did was OK.

Rather, you’re empowering yourself to come to terms with what happened and leave it in the past. You’re also giving your partner a chance to learn and grow from their mistakes.

Avoid dwelling on the past

Once you’ve fully discussed the betrayal, it’s generally best to put the issue to bed. This means you don’t want to bring it up in future arguments.

You’ll also want to go easy on constantly checking in on your partner to make sure they aren’t lying to you again.

This isn’t always easy, especially at first. You might have a hard time letting go of the betrayal and find it difficult to start trusting your partner, especially if you’re worried about another betrayal.

But when you decide to give the relationship a second chance, you’re also deciding to trust your partner again. Maybe you can’t completely trust them right away, but you’re implying you’ll give trust a chance to regrow.

If you can’t keep thinking about what happened or have misgivings about your partner’s future honesty or faithfulness, couples counseling can help. But these signs could also indicate you may not be ready to work on the relationship.

Rebuilding trust when you’ve hurt someone

You messed up. Maybe you lied and hurt your partner or withheld information you thought would hurt them.

No matter your reasons, you know you caused them pain, and you feel terrible. You may feel like you’d do anything to show them they can trust you again.

First, it’s important to understand that the broken trust may be beyond repair. But if you both wont to work on repairing the relationship, there are a few helpful steps you can take.

Consider why you did it

Before you embark on the process of rebuilding trust, you’ll first want to check in with yourself to understand why you did it.

Is it possible that you wanted to end the relationship but didn’t know how to? Or were there specific needs that weren’t being met by your partner? Or was it just a dumb mistake?

Understanding the motives behind your behavior can be difficult, but it’s a crucial part of rebuilding trust.

Apologize sincerely

If you lied, cheated, or otherwise damaged your partner’s faith in you, a genuine apology is a good way to start making amends. It’s important to acknowledge you made a mistake.

Just remember that your apology isn’t the time to justify your actions or explain the situation. If some factors did influence your actions, you can always share these with your partner after apologizing and owning your part in the situation.

Be specific

When you apologize, be specific to show you know what you did was wrong. Use “I” statements. Avoid putting blame on your partner.

For example, instead of “I’m sorry I hurt you,” try:

“I’m sorry I lied to you about where I was going. I know I should’ve told you the truth, and I regret causing you pain. I want you to know I’ll never do it again.”

Make sure to follow up by telling them how you intend to avoid making the same mistake again. If you aren’t sure what they need from you to work on the relationship, you can ask. Just make sure you’re ready and willing to actively listen to their answer.

Give your partner time

Even if you’re ready to apologize, talk about what happened, and begin working through things, your partner may not feel ready yet. It can take time to come to terms with a betrayal or broken trust.

People process things in different ways, too. Your partner might want to talk right away. But they also might need days or weeks before they can address the issue with you.

It’s important to avoid pressuring them to have a discussion before they’re ready. Apologize and let your partner know you’re ready when they are. If you’re struggling in the meantime, consider talking to a counselor who can offer unbiased and supportive guidance.

Let their needs guide you

Your partner may need space and time before they can discuss what happened. And often, this might involve physical space.

This might be difficult to face, but respecting your partner’s boundaries and needs can go a long way toward showing them they can depend on you again.

Your partner may want more transparency and communication from you in the future. This is common after a betrayal of trust. You may even willingly share your phone and computer with your partner to prove your honesty.

But if you’ve made some progress in repairing your relationship and your partner continues to monitor your activities and communications with others, talking to a couples counselor can help.

Commit to clear communication

In the immediate aftermath of broken trust, you’ll want to honestly answer your partner’s questions and commit to being completely open with them in the future.

To do this, you have to make sure you’re clear on the level of communication they need.

Let’s say you broke their trust by withholding some information you didn’t think was really important, and you didn’t understand why they felt so betrayed. This can indicate there’s a deeper issue with communication in your relationship.

If you want to repair your relationship and avoid hurting your partner again in the future, you need to reach a mutual understanding of what good communication looks like.

Miscommunications or misunderstandings can sometimes cause as much pain as intentional dishonesty.

What about the details of an affair?

Relationship counselors often recommend against providing specific details about a sexual encounter with someone else. If you’ve cheated, your partner may have a lot of questions about what exactly happened. And you might want to answer them in an effort to be transparent.

But talking about the details of an encounter can cause further pain that isn’t very productive. If your partner wants details, consider asking them to wait until you can see a therapist together.

The therapist can help you navigate the healthiest way to address these questions. In the meantime, you can still honestly answer their questions without giving explicit details.

How long will it take?

Being in a relationship with broken trust can be extremely uncomfortable. Both sides might be eager to get the whole rebuilding process over with as fast as possible. But realistically, this takes time.

How much time, exactly? It depends on a lot of factors, particularly the event that broke the trust.

Long-standing patterns of infidelity or dishonestly will take longer to resolve. A single lie grounded in a misunderstanding or desire to protect may be easier to address, especially when the partner who lied shows sincere regret and a renewed commitment to communication.

Have patience with yourself. Don’t let your partner rush you. A partner who truly regrets hurting you may be hurting, too, but if they truly care for you and want to fix things, they should also understand it isn’t helpful to rush right back into the way things were.

Is it worth it?

Rebuilding trust isn’t an easy task. It’s normal to question if it’s even worth it before you decide to commit to working on your relationship.

If your partner makes a mistake or two over the course of a long relationship and owns up to it, working on trust issues may be the right move.

As long as there’s still love and commitment between the two of you, working on trust issues will only make your relationship stronger.

But if you know you’ll never be able to completely trust your partner again, no matter what they do, it’s generally best to make this clear right away so you can both begin to move forward separately.

It’s also worth weighing your options if you’ve discovered years of infidelity, financial dishonesty, manipulation, or other major breaches of trust.

Other red flags that might signal it’s time to throw in the towel include:

continued deceit or manipulation
an insincere apology
behavior that doesn’t match up with their words
You don’t have to do it alone

Every relationship goes through a rough patch. There’s no shame in reaching out for help.

Couples counseling can be a great resource when dealing with trust issues, particularly those involving infidelity. A counselor can offer an unbiased view of you relationship and help both partners work through underlying issues.

Having tough conversations about betrayal and trust can also bring up painful emotions on both sides. Having a trusted counselor can also help you navigate the difficult feelings as they arise.

The bottom line

It’s possible to rebuild a relationship after a breach of trust. Whether it’s worth it depends on your relationship needs and whether you feel it’s possible to trust your partner again.

If you do decide to try repairing things, be prepared for things to take some time. If both sides are committed to the process of rebuilding trust, you might find that you both come out stronger than before — both as a couple and on your own.


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